Fake News Friday: Airlines Ban Wearing Tech Suits On Flights

In the first installment of Fake News Friday, airline companies begin to ban wearing technical racing suits while traveling and add to the current controversy surrounding airlines in general.

Apr 28, 2017

Fake News Friday: Airlines Ban Wearing Tech Suits On Flights

*Disclaimer: This article is 100 percent not real news and is only meant for entertainment purposes. Enjoy!*

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, this happens. Change your travel routine because your favorite tech suit is now against dress code for the majority of the major airlines in the United States.

Three Things We'll Miss About Traveling In Tech Suits

1) The Compression

Traveling alone can be pretty brutal and snuggling up with an airline pillow is a joke. But for a long time, tech suit traveling made it bearable -- especially when your significant other was at home. Now, you can't have that wonderful tech suit hug we know and love at 30,000 feet.

2) The Aerodynamics

Airports are not known for tons of open space to frolic freely with your bags, children, laptop, etc… that's where the sleek profile of the tech suit comes in.

Benefits of tech suit aerodynamics in an airport
- Slipping past and between people in the security line.
- Zipping down the aisle of the airplane to get off before anyone else, so you can get the prime baggage claim spot -- just for you bag to show up last anyway.
- Eliminating drag while you run through the airport because you're about to miss your flight, again.

3) The Style

With all of the different colorways, patterns, and materials that are now available for technical racing performance machines, it's hard to not list them as a must-have fashion accessory. Unfortunately for those who like to turn heads at the airport, it's time to hang up your tech suit and save it for a night on the town.

I know this is disappointing news, but we are always here to be your empathetic shoulder to cry on. What's next? Banning your shiny Jaked bodysuit circa 2009 as a flotation device in case of an emergency water landing?

Please direct all complaints to your airline of choice. But actually, please do not do that. Because this is fake news.

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